The Banishment and Return of Arthur

By: Daniel Rondon

Arthur was a young man who lived in Paris. He was pessimistic; for two years, he had been brought down by his loneliness, depression, and social anxiety. It’s been slowly but surely eating away at him, creating the path of human degradation. His childhood was marked by solemnity and solitude; he tried to fit in and make friends. However, he was perceived as different and unusual by many. He had few friends, but not many, and the majority didn’t view him favorably. He didn’t care until two years ago, when his classmates started to target him. Arthur realized that day how the majority of his classmates viewed him. The world watched him, and society condemned him. This fact struck him deeply, as if he had lost his legs in battle and hated it intensely. As a student at the University of Paris, he tried his best to make friends, but he couldn’t, all for similar reasons. The whiplash he received every day from university wrecked him. One night, Arthur had a terrible day; not only was he made fun of by all of his classmates, but even the professors joined in. He then wrote down his feelings.

"All hate me. Everyone has this secret contempt towards me for my past or even for who I am. I’m a lonely soul who desires friendships, but all reject me. I am being ripped apart limb by limb; my shadows exclaim victory. It kills me and leads me down the path that no one deserves to be a part of. Suicide calls my name from below. This reality that I undergo is hell on earth; it’s worse than death, my brethren. I, the crucified, am too much for them to handle, and in doing so, have been exiled from society. No one understands me, leaving me behind in terror. I stretch forth my hand, and no hand touches mine back. I stare into the abyss, and the abyss gazes back at me. The difference is that I am the monster; the students are sane. I am nowhere near these students; my mental health is fragile. Thus, my loneliness is why I scream in pain like a madman.

I, Arthur, am the crucified who has fallen in the sight of man. I have abandoned all hope for any salvation regarding social relationships. They see me as a monster that must be shunned at all costs! I am angry at myself, suffocating in self-loathing and shame. I am a mockery of what it means to be a human. I am dead in their eyes, and I’m under the control of the false chaotic god Dionysus. I am his puppet; he controls me and whispers wickedness into my head. I scream in pain, but that’s where he finds his ultimate fulfillment. I’ve danced with my loneliness and madness, as they’re my constant companions in life. I fell off the tightrope, and now I’m lost in life’s absurdity. These last two years must be forgotten, for happiness is a distant memory. I yell into the void as I sit in the abyss; madness devours me in the process. My soul has decayed into nothingness!”

The day after he wrote them down, Arthur was alone in the park, and his somber mood followed him. In his solitude, the strangulation had an airtight hold on him; it hurt him like hell. After some thought, he booked an appointment with a psychologist to share his despair. They booked an appointment, and three days later, they chatted about his past. It was an emotional whirlwind as they talked about his feelings of loneliness, depression, social anxiety, and suicide. It was all hidden for two years. He wept a lot during the talk, recounting the emotions he’s gone through, and the suppression struck him deeply. The psychologist was very understanding of the dire situation he had put himself through. Due to the severity of his emotions, Arthur was given escitalopram, and he was going to speak with him every week. After the discussion, he felt better, more in tune with the waves of reality. A month after he started talking with his psychologist, Arthur decided to reflect on his emotions and past. He knew that it was a necessary step to be content with living. This ignited a slow journey towards self-discovery; his happiness finally flourished. He began to feel joyful again; the pain he felt was slowly fading away like desolate memories. Six months after he started speaking with the psychologist, Arthur finally accepted himself. He discovered not only how to be blissful in life but also how to be resilient in any situation. He began to speak with his childhood friends again, and their conversations helped him connect significantly with who he was before the fall. He finally freed himself from the terror he once lived through day by day as if he were bound by it forever. Captivity once held him; self-overcoming set him free.

Two months later, Arthur decided to write again. He wrote about his feelings and how he’s changed. He wrote, “I have for too long avoided people, as I feared embarrassment, judgment, and rejection. Suicide was seductive throughout these two years; now it’s weakened beyond repair. The pain I suffered vehemently means nothing as the weight of existence reveals its weakness. My childhood friends have delivered me from my descent into madness. The agony found in my insecurities has finally been brought to justice. The crimes committed against my dignity have faded into nothingness. O my brothers, thou must learn from those like me, for whoever suffers like me has been wounded by humanity's most profound tragedy. Mental health is often neglected, yet it can be the most vital form of health when properly cared for. If left untreated, the individual suffers the worst pains imaginable, afflictions beyond tangibility. I still feel the darkness lurking beneath the shadows; some days it gnaws at me, like malnutrition. It starves for people like me. Yet, the way to defeat it is to starve it; he who does shall find victory within himself. It’s a harsh lesson to swallow, yet it’s one of the most profound inculcations life offers. The treacherous road of suffering guided me to embrace life afresh; its shackles have disintegrated to dust. Now, my existence is free!”

9.21.2025